Flowers for Alice
by Jazz Riddle
Summary: Renessmee's "16th" Birthday, and Jacob is so dead... As promised: part two up!
1. Telling the Parents

Jacob was terrified. It had been happening to him for a while now, at random points in time. He figured he was extremely lucky not to have been caught by now, what with Nessie's leech of a father and his mind-reading. Jacob felt his face grow cold with dread as he approached the road to the Cullen house, creeping at ten miles below the limit. He stopped his car near the entrance to the long drive and got out to walk the rest of the way. He needed time to think about all this. Alone.

Yesterday, at the beach with Nessie, Jacob had found out that she was feeling it too. So he wasn't just going mad. He didn't have a death wish. Not that it really mattered much anyway. Jacob was pretty sure he was about to be torn into teeny tiny little pieces by a couple of angry vampires.

If he was perfectly honest with himself, it wasn't Edward that Jacob was worried about. No, it was the thought of Bella that had his guts doing the nervous cha-cha. Jacob shivered.

Bella had been pretty angry when she'd found out Jacob had imprinted on Nessie. She'd attacked him, even. Edward hadn't done that. Weren't fathers supposed to be the overprotective ones?

Anyway, Bella hadn't been the most cheerful leech in the pond (not that Jacob ever normally thought of her as a leech; it was just nerves) when she'd discovered Jacob had moved from the "big-brother stage" to the "best-friend stage" either. She hadn't attacked him then, but Jacob was sure she would now that he'd moved on to the- …the next stage.

_Nessie's wearing the pants in this relationship,_ Jacob thought bitterly, muttering under his breath. It had been Nessie, after all, who had suggested they tell Bella and Edward that they were going to try having- …to go on a date.

"Just a date, Jake," Jacob whispered to himself. "Just a date." That's what Nessie had said at the beach, after he'd looked at her like she was crazy and told her she was going to get him killed. 'Course, it was a lie, and Edward would know and Edward would tell Bella and Bella would kill Jacob. Jacob took a deep, calming breath (at least it was supposed to be calming) and knocked on the Cullen door.

It opened immediately, to reveal an angrily glaring Edward. Jacob gulped and bit his lip. _He already knew._

Jacob stepped through the door when Edward (seemingly with immense reluctance) stepped aside, despite his better judgement. Jacob's better judgement didn't really have much voice when it came to Nessie. Sometimes Jacob wished it did. It would make a few things quite a bit less deadly. Jacob chanced a glance at Edward and shivered. He was so dead.

As soon as Jacob was fully in the house, he went right over to Nessie. As if she would protect him. This _was_ all her idea.

"I'm blaming you when they all tear me to shreds," he whispered in her ear. Edward glared harder from across the room. Jacob took a step back. Nessie rolled her eyes and bounced over to her father with a cheerful giggle.

"Lighten up, Daddy," she huffed, wrapping her lean arms around his middle and squeezing. He _oof_ed, but probably only to humour her. She giggled again and placed a haphazard peck of a kiss on Edward's cheek. Jacob felt a strange, irrational surge of jealousy at that. He wanted Nessie to kiss him, he realized. Only him.

"Hi, Jake." Bella sounded only somewhat happy to see him, but Jacob was glad for the distraction. He turned to face her.

Jacob really wished he hadn't. He really did. Bella was so beautiful and strong and tall and sleek and – and she was going to kill him. Slowly and painfully, he was sure of it. Jacob shivered and gulped again.

"Hey, Bella," he croaked out. Nessie laughed at his shoulder, her cool breath brushing the back of his neck and sending a different sort of shiver down his spine. Bella's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, are we finally beating him up?" Emmet asked, dropping in next to Jacob from the banister of the stairwell. "Oops," he muttered when he caused a crater to appear in the floor. From in the corner and behind a knitting magazine, Esme sighed.

"Oh, Emmet," she scolded gently. "You should know by now you can't jump off of things. You'll have to fix the floor again." She seemed completely unconcerned with the reason Emmet had jumped in the first place. Jacob held in a whimper. If even gently Esme was against him, he – well, he was screwed.

Alice's light footsteps sounded as she raced gracefully down the stairs after her "brother." She rushed headlong at Jacob and he flinched, thinking she was charging, or something.

But she grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him up and down, _tsk_ing. She shook her head distastefully.

"You're not dressed up!" she said, as if it were blasphemy. She wrinkled her nose. "I wish you didn't smell," she complained. "Though I suppose we'll be dealing with your smell even _more_ than usual after tonight, won't we, Jake?" She winked.

"What?" Jacob squeaked, paling. He'd always been lead to believe that Alice couldn't see werewolves in her visions, or Nessie. Had they lied? Alice laughed her high-pitched tinkling giggle.

"Nessie tells me and Esme everything," she explained.

"Good to know," Jacob whispered.

"So you better be on your _best behaviour_," Alice went on, as if Jacob hadn't uttered a word. She prodded Jacob in the chest and put extra emphasis on the last two words, glaring. Nessie laughed as Jacob nodded weakly.

"I _so_ wear the pants in this relationship," she said cheerfully. Silently, Jacob couldn't help but agree.


	2. Giggle Downpour

Jacob watched silently as Nessie pulled off her shirt, revealing a nearly nonexistent swim-suit top. The bright sunlight glinted off of her skin, similar to the way it did to her parents, but not enough to draw attention and cause her to have to hide from the sun.

Flipping her strawberry-blonde curls, Nessie turned around and eyed Jacob up with a playful smile. Then she grinned, and her legs bent in the tell-tale sign that she was about to do something random and exciting.

"Beat you to the water," she said, turning and racing off across the sand. Jacob scrambled to his feet, causing a whirlwind of sand around him, and took off after her. He caught her by the waist at the water's edge and she laughed, splashing water at him with her foot, effectively soaking the leg of her jeans. Jacob spluttered and let go of Nessie as the salty water got in his mouth. Gross.

Then it started to rain. No, not just rain, but completely downpour, so that Jacob's hair was divested of its usual gel and spikes and hung in a depressing, dripping way in front of his eyes. He sighed. Such was life in Forks, Washington. Nessie had the nerve to laugh at him. He pouted. She splashed him again.

"Ooh, you're gonna get it!" Jacob growled, and he sloshed through the water and grabbed Nessie around the waist, tossing her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Shrieking with laughter the whole time, Nessie kicked and screamed all the way back to Jacob's truck. He opened the passenger-side door and dumped Nessie on the seat so that she landed in a highly ungraceful heap. On her back. With Jacob over her. Jacob gulped. That wasn't _exactly_ what he'd intended to do.

But Nessie took it in her stride, leaning up on her elbows and pecking Jacob lightly on the lips. Jacob blushed deeply and gave her a goofy grin. Nessie giggled and looped her arms around Jacob's neck, pulling him down with her as she kissed him again, this time deeper.

When they parted, Jacob was grinning again. He really, really, _really_ loved kissing Nessie. Almost as much as he loved Nessie herself. But he could never love anybody or anything _that_ much. It just wasn't werewolf-ly possible. Nessie only laughed again at his expression and smacked him playfully on the shoulder, even as she scooted backward to get all the way inside the car.

Jacob crawled in after, hooking the back of his foot under the armrest on the door to close it as he did so. Jacob was _really_ on top of Nessie now, not that either of them minded. Nessie's head was lying on the driver's seat, her hair fanned out around her perfect face. The small of her back rested on the storage box between the two seats, and her bottom on the passenger's.

Jacob was straddling Nessie's waist, just high enough so that he couldn't see her legs at all, but just low enough that he could see every last millimetre of her smooth stomach. The top of his head was almost touching the ceiling of the truck, and it would've been if he'd been sitting up straight. As it were, Jacob was leaning forward slightly, enthralled with Nessie's breathing, and the spark in her eyes.

With a mischievous grin, Nessie put her arms above her head (in a very inviting type of way) and winked. Jacob's grin widened…

…

Jacob was carrying Nessie over his shoulder again. They were both laughing. A lot. And Nessie was kicking him again, and he didn't mind at all. He was now officially in a Very Good Mood.

The door of the Cullen house banged open, as Jacob Black had just kicked it that way. The pair of them, giggling and laughing and really having a time of it, proceeded to drip extreme amounts of water all over the floor of the entry way. Edward couldn't find it in him not to glare.

Seeming to shrink several feet under the look Edward was giving him, Jacob let Nessie slide from his grip, landing on her feet, perfect, like always. With a gulp Jacob pointed behind him at the door.

"It's raining," he croaked.

"Indeed," Edward replied dryly, with a raised eyebrow. At that precise moment, perfectly, like always, Alice raced down the stares, took Nessie by the shoulders and sniffed her.

"Golly, you smell," she told her sort-of niece. Edward groaned and, throwing up his arms in defeat, he left the room. Loudly. Giggling like mad, Alice and Nessie ran back up the stares, presumably to one of their rooms, holding hands and… Was that – did she just _skip_?

Just before the two "girls" left the upstairs landing, Jacob heard Alice say, "God, you're going to have to shower before you tell me about it. You _really_ smell." Jacob watched as the two disappeared, giggling some more. He sighed, not knowing whether to be insulted or extremely thankful. Alice had saved him. Once again.


End file.
